Porn doesn’t
get the final word.

You could greatly benefit from a mentor if:

You’re a woman seeking help for trauma triggers and personal healing related to sexual betrayal.

You’re a man seeking freedom and healing from unwanted sexual behaviors.

You’re a couple seeking to rebuild trust and heal together after sexual betrayal.

A mentor is someone who’s been where you are and walks with you through the struggle, offering wisdom, guidance, and real support. We don’t just give advice—we share the journey.

We know what it’s like to feel lost, overwhelmed, or stuck in grief. We’ve walked this road ourselves, and because of that, we can help you find clarity when everything feels foggy. We can point you to the right resources, help you avoid the trial-and-error frustration, and walk with you toward real healing—so you don’t have to do it alone.

When we tell people we are professional mentors and share about the work we do, people often ask us, “So, what’s the difference between a mentor and a coach?” or “Why mentoring when coaching is more common?”

Great questions! Coaching has risen in popularity and is widely recognized as a paid professional service, while many see mentorship as something informal and non-professional—something that happens naturally in churches, workplaces, or communities.

In an ideal world, that’s exactly how it would work. Every person would have a mentor—someone trustworthy, wise, and willing to invest in their growth, but that’s not the world we live in. Outside of the workplace, intentional mentorship among adults is rare these days. Many men and women facing addiction, betrayal, or deep personal struggles don’t have that kind of support, and that’s where we come in.

While mentorship and coaching have some similarities, the biggest different between the two is in their underlying assumptions about those seeking guidance.

Here’s an illustration to help:

Imagine you’re about to begin a long, difficult hike up a mountain you’ve never climbed before. You’ve done some nature walks, tackled a few smaller summits, but this one is BIG. The paths aren’t well-marked, and if you’re not careful, it’s easy to get lost. Standing at the base, you’re not sure you have what it takes to make it to the top.

Your coach meets you at the trailhead with a crisp, new map. They help you plan your route, set a steady pace, and make sure you’ve got the right gear. You go over basic skills—how to read a compass, what to do if you run into trouble—and establish a solid strategy.

Your coach has hiked other mountains before—not this exact one—but they understand the principles of climbing. They even read a blog post and listened to some podcasts about this specific mountain, so they pass along those insights. Then, after hiking with you for the first half-mile to make sure you’re on track, they wish you luck and send you on your way. You can call if you need help.

Your mentor also meets you at the trailhead, but their map is worn and creased from use. They’ve climbed this mountain before. They know where the footing gets tricky, where the steep inclines will test your endurance, and where you’ll be most tempted to quit. They still teach you the skills, review the route, and offer guidance, but they don’t just hand over instructions and walk away.

They hike with you.

They share their own struggles from the trail, point out the toughest spots before you reach them, and remind you—especially when it gets hard—why the summit is worth it.

Both have value. But if you’re facing a mountain filled with pain, struggle, and unknowns, having someone who’s already made the journey can make all the difference.

The Assumptions Behind Coaching vs. Mentoring

At their core, coaching and mentoring operate from two very different sets of assumptions about the person seeking help.

Coaching Assumptions: You Have a Goal—You Just Need a Plan

Coaching is built on the idea that you already know where you want to go, but you need structure, strategy, and accountability to get there.

• You have a clear goal. Maybe you want to improve your leadership skills, train for a marathon, or strengthen your marriage. You aren’t lost—you just need a roadmap.
  

• You’re ready for growth today. A coach assumes the environment is right for you to reach your goal, but you need expert guidance to refine your skills, push through obstacles, and stay motivated.
  

• The foundation is already in place. Coaching works best when you’re building on something solid. It’s about progress, optimization, and measurable success.
  

• External strategies drive change. A coach helps you apply proven techniques, frameworks, and best practices to help you get results.
  

Coaching is action-oriented. It’s about doing—taking steps, following strategies, and hitting milestones. If you know what you want but need help getting there, coaching is a great fit.

Mentoring Assumptions: You Need More Than a Plan—You Need a Guide

Mentoring for recovery and healing, on the other hand, starts with a different premise. It assumes you’re navigating something deeply personal, uncertain, and painful, and you need someone who has been there before.

• You’re not sure where to start. You’re likely not thinking about goals—you just need firm footing. You may not even be sure what is true anymore. You know you need help and empathy, now.
  

• Growth is possible, but healing has to come first.  As mentors in the area of addiction and trauma, we know that establishing safety and taking time to heal has to come first. Growth will come with renewed health and stability.
  

• The focus is on inner transformation. A mentor is there to help you restore, and at times rebuild, the foundation of your life and relationships. This work is careful, thoughtful, and in God’s timing. Soul work is slow work.
  

• Shared experience and relationship are essential. A mentor offers strategies and proven solutions also, but we value the hard-earned wisdom of lived experience above all else. We’ve got the scars to prove it!

Mentoring is heart-level work. It’s about becoming, not just achieving. If you’re struggling through something that’s reshaping your life—whether addiction recovery, betrayal, or identity loss—you don’t need a plan as much as you need a person who understands.

Which One Do You Need?

Both coaching and mentoring have value, but they serve different purposes. If you’re looking to refine a skill or reach a specific goal, coaching can help you get there faster. But if you’re facing something life-altering—something that’s changed the way you see yourself, others, or the world—you need more than a coach. You need a mentor.

Someone who’s been where you are.
Someone who can walk with you.
Someone who can remind you—especially when it feels impossible—that there’s a way forward.