Addiction Recovery Essentials: Attitude and Action
The secret to freedom from sexual addiction isn’t really a secret at all.
Your success in achieving long-term recovery from sexual addiction is directly tied to your willingness to embrace new attitudes and actions.
For years my goal was to just stop my unwanted sexual behaviors. You know, addition through subtraction! Well, that’s not how it actually works. Yes, I had to stop acting out sexually—to stop saying yes to lust. Here’s the issue with that line of thinking: I was confused about the real problem.
The real problem was my soul sickness—my attitudes, my beliefs, my outlook on life, my perspectives on God, other people, myself, were all diseased and distorted. I had unhealed wounds, festering resentments, unspoken pain. In reality, sexual addiction emerged as my solution to the real problems going on within me.
I realized that if I want to be free from sexual addiction, I have to partner with God to heal my inner life. Contrary to what I always believed, healing is not a passive experience. I have to participate in my own healing. I have to replace old with new, sick with strong, bitterness with forgiveness, hate with love, rage with repentance. In short, I have to adopt new attitudes and new actions. Let’s talk it out.
Attitude: The Bedrock of Recovery From Sexual Addiction
Attitude refers to your mindset, perspectives, and emotional approach to recovery. A healthy attitude shapes how you respond to challenges, setbacks, and growth opportunities.
Healthy Recovery Attitudes:
Humility: Recognizing the need for help and surrendering control to God.
Hope: Believing that recovery and transformation are possible, no matter how difficult the journey.
Gratitude: Cultivating thankfulness for small victories, supportive relationships, and God’s grace.
Willingness: Being open to accountability, new perspectives, and change.
Patience: Accepting that recovery is a process, and giving yourself grace when progress is slow.
Why Attitude Matters in Addiction Recovery:
Attitude encourages openness to receiving help: Seeking help through mentoring or support groups requires vulnerability. An attitude of humility empowers us to learn from others and apply practical tools for our healing.
Attitude sets the tone for lasting change: A hopeful attitude builds the foundation for long-term recovery from sexual addiction. It helps us embrace the process, push through complacency, and remain upbeat throughout the journey.
Attitude keeps you focused on the good: Challenges are inevitable in sexual addiction recovery. A grateful attitude provides the strength and perspective to stay committed when facing triggers, temptations, or feelings of shame.
Attitude influences your willingness to take responsibility: Recovery begins when we take responsibility for our actions. An attitude of willingness opens us up to accountability, an essential step in overcoming compulsive sexual behaviors.
Attitude keeps you grounded when progress is slow: Recovery from sexual addiction is not an overnight process. It takes time to unlearn destructive patterns, rebuild trust, and heal emotional wounds. An attitude of patience helps us stay committed to the journey, understanding that progress, not perfection, is the goal.
Action: Turning Intention into Reality
Action refers to the concrete steps you take to support your recovery and to change. Without action, even the best intentions and attitudes will fail to produce results.
Key Actions for Recovery:
Find Support: Build a network that includes a recovery mentor, friends in recovery to whom you make yourself accountable, and support groups like Sexaholic Anonymous.
Commit to a Plan: Work with a mentor to develop and follow a structured recovery plan that includes specific goals, daily practices, and accountability.
Engage Your Spiritual Life: Pray and meditate, study Scripture, and participate in your faith community to deepen your connection with God.
Develop Healthy Practices: Replace harmful coping behaviors with healthy ones, like journaling, exercise, creative hobbies, or talking to a friend.
Take Responsibility: Own all of your mistakes and actively work to make amends to those you have harmed.
Participate in Healing: Invest time in identifying your trauma and pain with a mentor and/or therapist. Partner with God to heal those tender places.
Why Action Matters in Addiction Recovery:
Action shapes us more than anything else: We became addicts through the consistent and compulsive pursuit of our urges. Breaking free from addiction demands that same level of consistency—but channeled into intentional recovery actions with the help of God.
Action creates momentum for change: Every small step—like journaling, going to a recovery meeting, or reaching out to a mentor—propels us forward in recovery. Action builds momentum and reinforces the belief that change is possible.
Action demonstrates our commitment to spouses and loved ones: We've all heard the saying, "Actions speak louder than words." Nowhere is this more true than in addiction recovery and the journey to rebuild trust after betrayal. Nothing was more healing to my wife Laura than seeing me take healthy actions every day.
Action interrupts harmful thought patterns: Prolonged inaction allows shame, guilt, and cravings to fester. Action interrupts these thought patterns by engaging the body, soul, and spirit in healing activities.
Action breaks the cycle of isolation: Sexual addiction thrives in secrecy and isolation. Taking intentional steps—like joining a recovery group or sharing struggles with a trusted mentor—helps break the isolation and creates a network of support.
The Relationship Between Attitude and Action in Recovery
In addiction recovery, attitude and action are deeply interconnected—each strengthens and supports the other. When balanced, they create a powerful synergy that propels you forward in healing and growth.
A positive attitude fuels consistent action by providing the hope and motivation needed to make recovery a priority.
Taking intentional action reinforces a recovery-oriented attitude by producing tangible progress, building trust in the process, and boosting confidence.
Together, attitude and action prevent stagnation and complacency, which are common precursors to relapse.
For example:
Before I really started taking my recovery seriously, I was resistant to taking advice and direction from others. I wanted to be in control and do things my way. I decided to focus on changing my attitude to one of humility and willingness. It was scary getting a sponsor and allowing him to guide me, no questions asked. But, every step along the way, as I took his advice and trusted his wisdom, I was changing. Seeing this change reinforced my new attitude and inspired me to keep taking action.
The Role of Faith in Attitude and Action
For Christians in recovery from sexual addictions, faith is the anchor that steadies both attitude and action. It serves as a guiding light, providing strength, direction, and purpose throughout the journey to freedom.
Attitude: Trusting in God’s Grace
Faith fosters hope, humility, and perseverance by reminding us of God’s love and power to heal. A recovery-focused attitude starts with trusting that His grace is sufficient, even in our weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10: But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Action: Obedience to God’s Word
Faith calls us not only to trust but also to act. Obedience to God’s Word and reliance on the Holy Spirit guide the practical steps needed for healing and restoration.
James 2:17: “Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”
Faith transforms both the heart and hands, ensuring that recovery is rooted in God’s power and purpose.
Practical Steps to Change Our Attitudes and Actions
For Cultivating the Right Attitude:
Start each day with prayer. Express thanksgiving to God for all of the good in your life. Ask God to renew your mind and grant you the strength to face challenges.
Use affirmations rooted in Scripture. Speak truth over yourself, such as, “I am a new creation in Christ” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Reflect on your “why” for recovery. Keep your vision for freedom, your family, and your faith at the forefront of your mind.
For Taking Intentional Action:
Set clear recovery goals. Break them into daily, weekly, and long-term milestones.
Create accountability. Regularly check in with a mentor, accountability partner, or recovery group.
Use recovery tools. Incorporate practical resources like journaling, mindfulness practices, or apps that track progress and provide encouragement.
If you’re ready to take your next step in recovery, I offer professional one-on-one mentoring to help you find lasting freedom from sexual addiction and partner with God to build a new life.
If that’s you, call me! 🤙🏼
